Subject: WWW Form Submission
Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2006 12:54:25 -0800 (PST)
Location: Beaumont, TX
This story starts early. I was young when I first realized that I could communicate with spirits. Not anything like they do on TV, just enough to understand why they are gone. As as adult, I didn't experience things on a regular basis, but it seems as though I would cross paths with old friends after not hearing from them for years, to speak with them, and then within months having them die suddenly. No, I didn't think I caused it. I was getting my chance to say good by. So many times I dreaded hearing from someone from my past, that I would be losing them soon. But of course, that didn't really always happen.
After getting married, a friend of ours had recently found out that he was going to be owing child support for a child he didn't know he had from years earlier. There was going to be a large amount owing from back years, and problems in his present marriage to money debts there. He constatnly talked about "ridin' in a cadillac" at work. Nothing was gonna stop him from gettin his ride. What we didn't know completely and I didn't know at the time, was he had talked to his family alot about ending his life. He just couldn't see a way to continue with his life. The family did everything they could to keep him from accomplishing this. Hiding guns, etc. But he managed one day to hide a gun and complete his mission. No one could stop him. After we found out and his funeral was that day, I was unable to go. As the procession went down the highway to the cemetary, I was vacuming and talking to myself, as if I were speaking to him. "Why? There is always a way. You could have made it" I suddenly heard "One day you will understand"
"No I won't" I replied, " One day you will understand".
Several years later,I was having a really bad marriage, we were in debt beyond belief and I was pregnant, and my husband didn't want it and let me know. He hated me. I remember after a confrontation, I went running out of the house at night crying and telling myself that I needed to end it, and then I heard the voice again" One day you will understand" And I did, for a moment. Then I knew, I had work. Things are much better, and my daughter is the apple of my husband's eye. Religion teaches us that we don't go to heaven when we take our own life. Why on earth would I be earth-bound for eternity just because It was hard here. There is a very good movie that helps one understand. "The Others" with Nicole Kidman. It gives only a glimpse of what you believe you are accomplishing by ending your and or someone else's life. You don't see anyone in the arm's of God as a reward for your life. Can you go on like that for eternity? I don't think so.